Many parents have concerns related to their baby's night-time sleep. Sleep deprivation is a serious problem for many parents of infants, and turning to sleep trainers who are promising quick solutions, may seem like the best, and sometimes only, option.
In this article, I clarify what sleep training is, I give a brief explanation of the biology behind infant sleep and I offer some alternative ways to approach sleep loss in early parenthood.
What is sleep training?
Sleep training aims to reduce parents' stress and solve infant sleep problems by modifying the baby's behaviour. It is based on the assumption that babies need help establishing healthy sleeping habits and that sleep training is necessary to teach them how to distinguish night from day.
Some sleep trainers may encourage parents to either leave their baby alone in a room and not check on him until the morning, or check on him in increasingly spaced out intervals. Other sleep trainers might promote the method of being in the same room as the baby, but not responding to him verbally or picking him up if he wake and cry.
Ignoring the baby's crying responses is commonly called the Cry It Out-method or CIO.
What is ‘normal’ sleep for a baby?
Babies’ natural sleep cycles are much shorter than adults’ and they spend a longer time in REM-sleep (light sleep where the brain is more active). This means that babies, by design, wake easily. This helps to protect them from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and supports their brain development.
When babies are born, they do not have what we call a circadian rhythm, or a day-night rhythm, and their sleep-wake rhythm is instead governed by hunger, thirst, or psychological needs such as the need for safety and comfort. It is normal and expected for babies to wake and feed during the night throughout the entire first year and even beyond.
At around three months, babies may show signs of a day-night rhythm, supported by their own melatonin production and other bodily functions that have a 24-hour cycle, such as changes in blood pressure, cortisol production and pulse.
At around four months babies go through a major developmental leap that tend to make their sleep more unpredictable again. With every developmental leap, babies integrate a range of new skills that make them experience the world in a whole new way. This can be a lot for them to take in, and they may temporarily need extra emotional support during the sleep transition period as a result.
While it can be beneficial to maintain some habits around sleep, babies do not need to follow a strict sleeping schedule. In fact, sleep tends to take care of itself when the baby is tired enough.
Why sleep training is problematic
The goal of sleep training is to make the baby fall asleep without support, and sleep through the night much sooner than what is normal from a biological perspective. Unrealistic expectations of babies' sleep are re-produced by sleep trainers who rely on out-dated approaches from the 50's, that we now know do not support the biology and needs of infants.
Even though the baby is the one getting sleep trained, it is as much a training for the parents who have to learn to ignore their hardwired neurobiological instincts to respond to their baby’s calls and cries.
In fact, mothers and babies are supposed to be physiologically synchronized. The dyad share emotions, meaning that when the baby's cortisol levels rise, so does the mother's. Sleep training disturbs this mechanism by training the baby to suppress his behavioral responses, which ordinarily let the mother know when her baby is in distress (1). A parent's sensitivity to their baby's needs, including his emotional needs, is foundational to a secure attachment.
Are there any gentle sleep training options for families who are struggling with sleep deprivation?
Sleep training is not the only option for sleep deprived parents. Alternative methods tend to focus more on sustainable sleep solutions that work to protect breastfeeding and the baby's attachment.
Instead of modifying the baby's behaviour, attachment-based approaches may also work to empower parents with coping-strategies, like adjusting expectations to what is biologically normal, and removing parents' guilt around their baby's frequent sleep abruptions (2).
Bed-sharing as a way to parent at night
Parenting is a 24 hour responsibility, and many parents of infants struggle to get enough sleep in the night. When consulting health care professionals about sleep solutions, bed-sharing is rarely presented as a safe option. However, there is evidence that supports the controversial, yet common, practice of bed-sharing with your baby. Bed-sharing allows breastfeeding mothers to feed their babies on demand through the night, which protects long-term breastfeeding. Breastfeeding, in turn, has positive effects on the baby's long term health and development.
Learn more about how to safely bed-share with your baby here.